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Wow, what a couple of weeks it’s been! Since my last post I’ve finished off working in Los Banios (which a helpful Argentian pointed out means ‘The Toilet’) and finally moved on to better things. First off was snorkelling and motorbiking on the serene Island of Palawan. And in complete contrast, the week that followed went by on the Island of Boracay in an incredibly drunken stupor. I’ve lost my voice, chain smoked the last week away, got a superb tan going and drank so much rum I feel like I’ve risen from the grave, but man was it worth it.
It’s not all fun and games here though, I started writing this post 2 weeks prior when a typhoon rained me into my hostel in Puerto Princesa just after I had arrived on Palawan. To put it mildly, this place was boring as shite, so for two days I ate and wrote notes on my phone. Did I mention the internet in the Philippines is more up and down than a busty grandma on a trampoline? Well it is. So, to round up my first 5 weeks away, I thought I’d write a nice list of some things I have learnt about myself, travelling and life in general so far.
Please enjoy my inane ramblings below….
1. Eating a packet of Oreos in under 10 minutes WILL make you feel sick.
2. Most men think that girls who travel alone will sleep with everything and anything. ALL Filipinos think you’re a prostitute.
3. Quitting smoking is a bitch no matter where in the world you are.
4. Hostelworld is a godsend…Tripadvisor can be very very wrong.
5. I am eating ALL the pies!
6. Time really does fly when you’re having fun (yes i know, shut up grandpa).
7. NOTHING will ever beat a bottle of wine with your best buds from home.
8. Ear plugs are god’s greatest gift.
9. Turtles are friendly.
10. Karaoke needs to die a quick and painful death.
11. Bed Bugs itch like mother.
12. The more I fly, the more freaked out I am getting. Especially when I had to get on this beast. Must purchase bottle of Cherry before the next flight. Cherry is actually really cool before you start.
13. Humidity at night makes your dreams pretty fucked up. I’ve already survived a baboon attack and Filipino Terrorist shoot outs. That one where Daniel Craig was my boyfriend was just happy coincidence.
14. If you don’t book accomodation in advance in the Philippines you are almost guaranteed to be screwed. Thanks by the way Lonely Planet for mentioning that key piece of advice (mumbles angry abuse to herself. Man next to here slowly edges away. FML).
15. Hot dog or legs?
16. If you’ve saved hard for a trip, you need to make sure you spend hard too.
17. There is such a thing as too much garlic.
18. Argentinians are super sexy and Chiliens dance so freaking well you’re left with only one option….
19. FRUIT SHAKES ARE THE BEST THING IN THE HISTORY OF EVER. FACT.
20. Rum after Red Horse seems like the worlds greatest plan at midnight….not so great in the morning.
21. You can never pack too much bug spray (I’ve aready run out…boo!).
22. There’s no way in hell skyflakes are as good as Saltines.
23. I will always have an issue with sporadic food shops.
24. I may be a little closer, but my goal of relaxing more and mastering the art of patience is still a long way off as was highlighted when a rock was thrown at our car a la the below… Oh yea, and I was sat in the front in the middle. Let’s just say I was more than a little freaked out.
25. I look on the brightside… It wasn’t bad luck that the above happened. Just good luck that nothing worse than glass splinters came from it.
26. One of the things I miss most is having a kitchen and a supermarket. There’s only so many times you can enjoy a cup ‘o’ noodles.
27. Hearing the squeal of a pig who is about to be slaughtered is seriously disturbing.
28. It’s bloody marvellous to be independent. Soz, Beyonce but right now i’d prefer anyone who ‘likes it’ to fuck off please over putting a ring on it.
29. These beaches really do exist..
30. Apparently all Swedes are convinced I should move to LA and become a Milla Jovovich lookalike… To the point where I’ve been bitten to see how good my fighting skills were. I can tell you they were pretty damn good.
31. Sharing is caring. The best hostel I’ve stayed in had such a good atmostphere, we shared food, smokes, drinks and everything inbetween. Really made for one of the most friendly and comfortable places I’ve ever been.
32. I am really really enjoying this travelling lark, good and bad.
Next up…Hong Kong…